Having it all

I lost my dad recently. I guess he had been sick for a while but didn't know it, and things went downhill rather fast.  The month has been filled with many questions. Not just the "why" and "how come" but also many questions about my own life and choices. 

One day, while sitting at my dad's bedside in the hospital, dad was sleeping and it was me and my brother there with him. We were talking about life choices, careers, etc. He said " surely, you must be making money". I said "we make enough to put food on our table, have a nice home. That's all we need. I have a beautiful child and a husband who loves me. I love my life!". Silence. My brother had no quick rebuttal to that statement. Not sure what he was thinking but I imagine he thought I would want more. I don't need to be famous or see the Seven Wonders to feel I have lived or have everything.  I don't need a designer house or a fancy car to define who I am. I have what I need.

That not to say I won't go places or see things. Maybe, someday.  

I wonder if dad felt that way. When I think of how he looked at mom even in his last days - blowing her kisses, telling her she is the most beautiful woman and how lucky he was to have her, yeah, I think dad would say he had everything too.

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.

We went home for the Christmas. While some things change over the years many things stay the same. Our family is big, loud and leaning very close to crazy.

Family lingering over coffee after a yummy feast

It's a whole different world back in Hartland. With a language all it's own. You have to pay close attention or you will get lost in translation. I am sure my family is no different than yours. The parents are now the grandparents. The siblings are all grown up: The successful engineers who travel all over the world; the working moms who do it all; the ones who think they have it all; and the ones who really do have it all. Note to self, I want to pick up a book on birth order.And the kids of all ages running amuck.

The food was plentiful and so was the laughter. Did I say it got loud? Oh yeah, everyone needs to be heard at these gatherings (I included). Even when everyone is listening they sometimes don't feel they are being heard so a bit of exaggeration is thrown in to spice the story up.
As crazy as this family is they have taught me a few things:
1) Time does not stand still, so make time for family. One day you will wake up and they will be old and not able to remember your name.
2) Always make time for game night. There is something about sitting around a table having a bit of fun over a game to bring everyone together.

Mom cheating and Amanda literally up in arms about it. LOL

3)Success means nothing if you don't have a family to share it with. You can have all the riches in the world but what good is it if you are all alone. I think Ebeneezer Scrooge found this out one Christmas Night.

 Each one of us is so unique and special, clever, intelligent and little on the witty side but what my parents have tried to instill in us that trumps all of that is love. I have said many times over the years "We never had much growing up but I have always known I am loved". I may complain about the craziness sometimes but this family has made me who I am today and that I am grateful for.

Traditions

It's Christmas. I love Christmas. The whole season. A time for reflection. A time for caring and sharing. Laughter. Surprises. Celebration. Great Food. Family. Gifts and decorations. My favorite parts of Christmas are the traditions. 
As I type I am flooded with memories of some of my favorite traditions over the years. There are the classics like getting up at 3am to run out to the tree and see what Santa brought us. Or the special Christmas cereal - the only time that mom would allow us to have sugary cereals. I always picked Frankenberry or Lucky Charms.
Some of my favorite traditions I made with Grant and Georgia. Christmas Eve is a big day for us. We can't sleep in too late or we miss all the action. We head to the mall around mid morning where we grab our specialty coffees and a comfy chair in the center, sit back, relax and people watch. This is so much fun. Some are racing around. Some laughing, Some fighting. There are the women who are all dolled up in their high heels and party hair. Others still in their pj's or sweats. We sometimes take a break from the sitting and do a little self indulgent shopping but nothing that needs to be delivered or put under the tree. After the crowd dies down we head home to prepare for our Christmas Eve dinner. Everyone has a tradition here. For us, it's wings and ceasar salad. The wings slow cook in the oven all night and we head to the Christmas Eve service at church. This year, I am singing in the service. A little nervous. The service will end with Silent Night by candle light. No matter what church we are at this is always solemn and beautiful.
We'll arrive home to the wonderful aroma of chicken and garlic roasting. The wine will be chilled. The salad tossed and we will cosy up and watch one of our favorite Christmas classics.

After years of watching our own parents frantically run around on this day we decided we would not carry the panic on. I look forward to this day with Grant and Georgia so much. It is completely self indulgent. With no expections of me or of anyone else. The hardest decision all day is, what kind of coffee will I order.

LIPPERPALOOZA

This will be the 2nd Annual Lipperpalooza.

Now that the sun is starting to breakthrough I am getting excited for everyone to show up.

Gary relaxing while tending the corn.

Last year we had so much fun that we agreed it needed to happen more often. And then Grant's dad died at Christmas. Who knew the next time we all saw each other would be so sad? It seemed more important than ever to plan this bbq.

Everyone should start arriving here at the lake late afternoon. No agenda but loads to play and do. Swimming, kayaking, golfing (I'm sure Kevin and Allison will have a mini putt course all set up by 4ish). The bon fire will be so much fun with 4 generations gathered for s'mores, guitars, and fireworks. Did I mention food? Corn Boil, Hamburgers, Shelley's Salads are always yummy and lil'g even wanted to make a contribution this year so she is making her famous taco dip.

A bunch of Kooks. Blow out the candles Nanny Sis.

We are a crazy clan. Masters of the silly face portraits and even though we sometimes drive each other nuts but we enjoy a good feast filled with laughter and lots of R & R.
They will be here soon. Time to stop reminiscing and get the iced tea brewing.

A lazy day and a Copper Moon.

It's summer time and I am enjoying a weekend away at the lake.

Sunset view from my porch

I would prefer clear skies and sunshine. If that were the case I would be down at the waters edge with a cocktail and a good book. Instead it has been pouring rain all day, but a warm rain which has made it enjoyable and relaxing. The view of the lake is still beautiful even when overcast. What does one do at the lake on a rainy day? Read, Write, watch a few classics, paint your nails, and nap are just a few of the things I have done today. But to finish the night off I am going to enjoy some wine and the sound of the rain beating against the screened in porch.
I would much prefer a malbec or tannat but since I can no longer have red I am forever in search for a white that I can love just as much. I guess the upside would be that we are always trying new wines, this time we picked up Copper Moon's Sauvignon Blanc. An inexpensive white that claims to have notes of citrus, tropical fruit and goosberry. Which I didn't really detect. It is light and not overly sweet with a  dryness that lingers. For the price, it fulfilled all expectations. (as Big G would say "you can't complain about quality at the dollar store"). The mosquito coils are lit, the patio lantern are plugged in and Big G is waiting on the porch with a box of silly trivia questions. Time to exit and enjoy my evening.

Tomorrow, the girls are planning to kayak and go for a run while Big G enjoys Father's Day do what he loves: a day of golf. Here's hoping the rain goes away.  

The List

I just arrived home from a fabulous 4 day vacation on PEI. For the past 20 years Big G and I have made a trek to PEI. When we younger we used to start the trip off with a little camping in an open field at Uncle Jumpin' Jack's in North Rustico and eventually head to Montague to visit our dear friends. Then one day we all got married, had kids, settled down, perfect. The wives get along, the men get along, our girls get along and one day we got a puppy and he met their puppy and they too, get along. Over the years our friendship has really grown. We no longer detour to Jumpin' Jack's but rather, head straight to Poverty Beach. Our visits never seem to be more than a long weekend but always fun and very relaxing.

Here's what an average day would be like: Coffee on the deck from 8am til noon (that's if we didn't stay up til 3am, in that case, coffee doesn't start til at least 10:30am), then it would be a tough decision as to whether we should walk down to the beach to collect moon snails and dip our toes in the ocean or sit and do a craft with the girls. Where are the guys in all of this? Calling a golf course to get a tee time. Dinner is usually late, but so worth it. The evening may consist of a bonfire or a very competitve (giggle) game of scrabble or trivial pursuit, a few bottles of wine, and appies that make us want to swap recipes.

A pretty low key break indeed. Our entertainment is found in the endless hours of conversation. Although we have so much fun without leaving the area, we usually have to hop in the car to visit a few of our favorite spots. It wouldn't be a trip to PEI without it. This time little g had made a point of telling me her must sees and when we arrived, our friends' little g had a list written with her must sees and dos. (Yes, our friends have a little g too!)

If you ever travel to PEI here a few places on the island that you must see. Sorry, no water theme or amusement parks on my list.

The Dunes Studio Gallery- an eclectic place full of jewelry and trinkets, clothing, art and home deco from around the world, a beautiful garden filled with unique furniture made out of tree stumps that you can sit on and soak in the beauty surrounding you.While there you can also eves drop on the potter creating dishes and vases that are sold in the shop or you can meander to the dining area and enjoy a meal. I haven't done that yet, but it is on my list.

Magic Dragon - I love this shop. Polished Rocks, Pashminas, Paper Lanterns, Art, and more. So many little unique things to touch and feel. You will get a treasure here for a sure. You'll have to go to Murray River, PEI to find it.

Cows Creamery  - They claim to be Canada's No. 1 ice cream. I think I would have to agree. Not sure which yummy flavour to put in your waffle cone? May I suggest Mooey Gooey. If you like touristy tshirts,  am sure you will find the perfect one here.

Farmer's Market - This is such a treat on Saturday morning. A fruit smoothy for the little gs, espressos for the moms. This time I snagged a coffee mug by a local potter that fits my hand comfortably. A fresh loaf of carrot spelt bread for Sunday morning breakfast, and oatmeal cookies for a midday snack

The Ocean - so many great beaches to drop your towel on. Water toys are not always necessary. As long as you have a bag to collect your treasures in, you are fine. Take a minute to play in the sand. Make a mermaid, use sea grass for her flowing hair, shells for her jewellery, pebbles for her smile. Take a picture because it will be washed away by morning.

There is so much more on the island. We always find something new to explore each time we visit. While we crossed most of our list off this trip, we missed a couple things. We are not completely disappointed, because we know we will be back soon.

Bite your tongue

Last night I attended a very productive meeting. A group of forward thinking entrepreneurs in the Valley are planning an event. I can't always say meetings are productive but this one was. The ladies should be applauded for that. It is not easy getting eleven A-type women to have a productive meeting. There were good discussions, some playing devil's advocate (in my opinion that is good, as you need to see all sides of a situation before making a sound decision), some waiting until the room went quiet before they spoke - so polite. And then there was me. (I've got a feeling Tammy may include herself in there with me too).

I came home with my hand over my mouth and my inner voice telling me I should have kept it shut a little more. I can be so outspoken. I go to these meetings thinking "okay Ann, be a sponge. Less talking, more listening." But then, I will hear something that gets me spurred on. Good or bad it doesn't matter, my leg will start twitching, my arm will start fighting with itself - up/ done/ up/ done. My tongue is tensed up like it is trying to lifts dumbells in my mouth and out it blurts. My interjection/ objection/ declaration what have you. I just can't hold my tongue any longer. I can't help it. I am passionate. I speak with conviction and I always want to make sure that whatever decision we make is the best decision.

I came home around 10pm and plunked down into my red chair (it is the best chair for plunking down in). I look over at Big G and the only thing he says as he lowers his head and raises his eyebrows is "What did you say???" I laughed because he knows me so well.

It's not that I was fired up with anger about the meeting, no, it was passion I expressed as I shared all the details with my love. I got to reminiscing about the old days when my father would come home from a board meeting for "this" or a town council meeting for "that". I remember him and Mom in the kitchen sharing a cup of tea and listening to Dad speak with such passion about the events "Well, I told them this and if they thought otherwise, they could just do ...". back then I used to get mad, because my 10 yr old body wanted to sleep but Dad's booming voice would always wake me.  Now, I smile. I am the spitting image of my father. And although I sometimes come home from meetings with my hand over my mouth wishing I hadn't said so much, I am also secretly happy that I don't.

As long as I have a voice I will use it. Someday it might be gone.


...in response to T is for by ABC Wednesday

Never Say Never

My Mother taught me long ago “Never say Never”. Her friends would say “my son would never ...”, or “my daughter would never...” and sure as the sun would rise those kids did. But she also meant those words to reflect more than a potential disappointment. She never would have imagined winning a trip to Florida in the 70’s and a SUV in the 80’s all by the luck of one ticket or becoming the senior manager of the food administration at the nursing she worked at and retired from (a huge accomplishment for a farm girl with an 8th grade education). I am sure there are many more incidences that mama would quote “never say never” to.


After being told we would never have children, eight years later (with their help of a great clinic) we conceived on the first try, a miracle and against all the odds. Three years later on that fateful winter night, the minivan crossed the median. I would like to say that I have never received that dreaded phone call at 4am, that I never imagined I would ever get, but I can’t. The doctors said Grant would never regain his short term memory, sense of smell or hold down a proper job. But he has. Okay the memory sucks sometimes but he is a man. Say no more. The doctors said his brother would never teach again, learning to read and write and speak again was going to be a challenge, probably be stuck living with his parents the rest of his life. But the teacher is able to work a few days a week, met a wonderful women and married life is bliss.

Had you told me ten years ago, even six years ago, that I would be co owning a bra boutique, I would have laughed and said “Never!” Yet here we are a year and half after opening, successful and prominent in our community. I would never have believed Grant would successfully achieve accreditation for his lab just 3 yrs after that accident or that I would be a mom to the most incredible 10 yr old.

You never know what’s around the corner – good or bad. I can’t say make lemonade when you handed a lemon, it’s not always that easy. But I have certainly learned to expect the unexpected. When it is good, I praise Him. When it is bad, I lean on Him. And I believe that All Things Are Possible.


~response to "when pigs fly!" prompt #203 Sunday Scribblings.

photo is around 1973 on our back step. I am the cutey on the right, my sister on the left and mama with her glorious beehive.

little g

I have to take a  moment to sing the praises of my beautiful daughter. Of course I am a little bias. A few of my close friends have told me how well mannered and polite she is, but sometimes as parents we those compliments are just pleasantries. I think it is starting to sink in and I believe my friends are being genuine. Why, yesterday we had a gentleman in our home doing an energy audit and he came to me in the middle of it to say "I have to tell you, not only is your daughter beautiful and well mannered, but she actually listens and obeys you. I have been in hundreds of homes and you don't see that very often..." we had quite a discussion. He was a very kind and gentle man who loves his job  but I can appreciate the situations he was describing and imagine how difficult that must be for him to do his job sometimes. I told him that we are so blessed to have little g, and I thanked him for his kind words.

Everyday little g comes home from school and makes a  snack for herself and for anyone else in the house (typically Grant's assistant is here, myself, and sometimes clients too). Today I suggested she might want to try to bake something. Afterall ,she is 10 now and when I was 10 my sister (who was 11) and I had to prepare a full dinner (with tea and dessert) after school before Dad and Mom came home from work.
I had brought home a bag of apples at lunch today, so little g decided she would make an apple crumble (apple crisp depending what part of the country you live). I was all for it. I told her it was my favorite dessert to make when I was her age.
 

I stayed curled up in the living room sofa working away on my laptop and could hear her in the kitchen humming away while she peeled the apples, preheated the oven, and made the crumble.  While it was baking, little g used the time to clean up her mess. You heard me correctly, the 10 yr old cleaned up her cooking mess without being told. It smelled so good. The apples, the cinnamon, the brown sugar all melding together. Mmmmm. Of course little g was dying to bite into it as soon as it came out of the oven, but I convinced her to save it for after dinner. She proudly served Daddy and I the dessert with a dollop of whipped cream on top.  It was perfect.

I love my little girl to the moon and back. She is growing up so fast, so responsible, so mature for her age.  But every now and then she will do something that will keep her my little girl a little longer, like bring all her dolls into the tub or wrestle with her dad or make goofy faces, or dress up the dog. She truly is a gift from God and I am so honored and blessed to be her mom.