My brain is of two minds right now. Most of the time I feel younger than I ever have. I am more physically fit now, for the first time in my life. I love running. I enjoy a good bike ride, kayaking or strength training session. I am running my second race this coming Sunday, The Hampton 5 Miler. I am actually looking forward to October, when I will revisit Jillian Michaels's 30 Day Shred. And even though I have not lost a lot of weight- I have weighed much less in the past but never been this fit. It feels great. I feel great. I do not feel like I am 43 yrs old.
Wellllllllll- most of the time, I don't feel 43. But when the pain in my hips, neck and shoulders is really strong, when I can't get out of the car without gritting my teeth, I can't climb the stairs or raise my coffee mug without tears welling - I don't feel 43 then, either. More like 65. Embarrassed isn't the right word, I am not sure what is. But I hate how I think I look trying to move along without a hobble. I don't want people to think I am trying to draw attention or get attention but it really hurts to walk.
How do I run then? It hurts when I start running, oh yeah, it hurts but by the end of the first km I have worked it out a bit and I can carry on. As long as I keep moving until the run is done I am good. I take walk breaks if I need to but don't stop moving. Although, I really hate taking walk breaks. Yeah, I would say my hips hurt most of the time. For at least 2 or 3 years now and I don't think it is going away. I asked the doctor if she thought the running was making it worse. Actually I told her that my mom suggested it was making it worse. I was happy to hear that Dr. Linda didn't believe so.
Grant thinks I am a human barometer. Yes, everything is hurting tonight and oh look outside, it's raining cats and dogs. Maybe he is right? If I look back on the days I felt the worst, it's been raining or very humid. At least I know when the weather man is telling the truth.