Fluent??

This week's prompt for Sunday Scribblings is "FLUENT".  It was a tough one for me. I couldn't come up with a story. I am not poetic and I am far from fluent in anything. As these thoughts bogged my mind I started seeing all the things I am not fluent in.  Hating to cast a negative on anything I decided to turn my thoughts upside down. Here we go:

I am fluent in...

1. ...speaking backwards. I have the right words, all lined up in my head, but they never come out in the right order.
2. ...running into stationary objects, like a coffee table or desk
3. ...falling down stairs. I have this one mastered. Usually it happens when I am alone in the house and no one is there to help me up. "I have fallen and I can't get up."
4. ... crashing my car(s) at speeds less than 5km/hr.
5. ...ruining a chocolate cake recipe. Okay well, after 30 yrs, I can say I can make a chocolate cake, but I have thrown a lot of them out trying to master a simple recipe. I will defend to my dying day that 2/3 cup of veg.oil looked like 2 to 3 cups of oil typed out in the old family recipe book.
6. ...killing plants.
7. ...starting projects and never finishing them: cross stitch, quilts, costumes, painting, painting walls and renos, writing (two novels on the go)
8. ...arriving 10 mins late
9. ...shopping a sale just because it is a sale
10. ...putting too many things on my plate. "your eyes are bigger than your stomach..." I can hear my dad saying.  Whether it is on my dinner plate or timeplate, I usually bite off more than I can chew.